Accepting my dark side

Kelly Clarkson sings about everyone having a dark side and asked if her dark side could be loved.  She is an artist whom I absolutely adore for I can relate to her lyrics time and time again.

The concept of me having a dark side is a concept I struggled with for a long time because I believed that I had to be perfect.  I guess you could say I was conditioned to believe that I had to be perfect.  Weaknesses were frowned upon, fear was laughed at and uncertainty was dismissed. I believed that I had to hide my ”dark side” because if I show just a smidge of my ugly side then everyone I love would run away and I would end up alone.

Suppressing my dark side for all these years resulted in my teenage years being filled with anger and my young adult life flooded with insecurity.  Every now and then I wished for someone whom I can show my dark side to and as bad is it may be, they would not run away but instead embrace who I am completely and love me for my good and my bad side, however dark it may be.

I am happy to say that I have found that one person whom I can completely be myself with.  Not only does he love me for my good traits, he accepts my weaknesses.  I have no cooking clue how but he managed to destroy the box I hid my dark side in and assured me that it is ok to get angry every once in a while, to get irritated or annoyed.  It is ok to show how I feel and not to pretend that everything is alright when it isn’t.  It is what makes me human, it is part of who I am and it is a part of my imperfections which in the end makes up my perfection.